Maybe I Do Know What it's Really Like by: Ximena Del Toro
A high school relationship can often seem dumb to the older generation. I often hear, “You are too young to know what it is really like.” I had my first relationship during Freshman year. I am now in a relationship with the same person. This relationship has been a big event in my life and one that had a lot of “aftershocks.” I never imagined how much this relationship would change me until it did. When I think about it, it has not been easy but I have learned many valuable lessons and have been able to grow. High school is not an easy thing to do, especially alone. Having a support system is crucial and a support system is much more valuable when you know it will always be there for you. My boyfriend, Calvin, has done this for me. High school has not been very kind to me all the time. It isn’t even high school, it is just life in general. From freshman year to now, a lot has changed and things have gotten harder while also getting better. I know Calvin will always be someone I can count on no matter what I have in my hands. Over the years, I have learned that he can make me laugh even when I’m crying. My relationship has been able to provide me with someone who I know will always be there for me and provide the light in the darkness. There are also a lot of times that I feel alone and unloved when in reality I know that is not the truth. I just have a hard time reminding myself of it. Calvin is always the person who reminds me that even if it feels like I don’t have anyone, he is someone I will always have. Calvin has also always reminded me that I am loved. My relationship has done more for me than that. My relationship has also provided me with someone to create memories with. Wearing the jersey, being asked to a dance with a cute poster, going to dances together, coordinating outfits… everything you think of when you think about high school. I’ve asked my mom what she remembers about high school. Her response was essentially all the huge and exciting cliche things everyone always remembers. When I think about the memories I want to think back on in the future, I want to think about the times when I was genuinely happy and felt loved. The difference? I am in a relationship during high school and my mother was not. Of course, there are memories that I will think back on that include my friends but these are just a little bit more special. I have a handful of really good friends. These friends, however, have not spent the last three years getting to know all things about me. I find it hard to admit to myself that something might be wrong or the fact that I am not okay. My close friends will only know something is wrong or if I am not okay when I say something. On the other hand, Calvin can know by just looking at my eyes. Deep down, I know it is important I talk to someone about things going on in my life and it has always been hard for me to open up. I figure that if I don’t say something, I won’t need to talk about it because people will assume all is well. Something about me is that I will cry when I hear the words “What’s wrong” or “Is everything okay?” Calvin will ask me these questions when he notices something ever so slightly off about me. This forces me to talk about my feelings and while I might dislike it, it is all for my benefit in the end. When I think about it, maybe I do know what a real relationship is like, even though I am just a high schooler. Word Count: 663