Chapter 21~Imagine Yourself at Your Funeral If you could change anything right now about your life, what would it be?
There are many things in my life that I would like to change, but in order to do that, I need to change my motivation. I can easily get really unmotivated and not want to do anything that I know deep down that I should. Now that I am in high school, it is important that my grades are as good as they can be. In order to have good grades, I must stay motivated and do all my assignments in a timely manner. If it weren’t for Keeping Up with the Kardashians, or TikTok, or Facetime, it would not be very hard for many teenagers, including myself, to stay motivated. Staying motivated in everything that I do, would change my life as it would also eliminate a lot of the stress and anxiety that I get because I am turning in assignments at the last minute.
Chapter 22~Repeat to Yourself, "Life Isn't an Emergency" Describe a time or moments in your life when you turn something into an emergency.
A time or moment in my life that I turned something into an emergency was when my 8th grade class got shut down because of Covid. Yes, the situation was not a good one because someone was sick and the class was going to have to go online for two weeks, but we overreacted and made the situation worse. I remember everybody started emailing our parents and making them worried before the school even called our parents. I am also guilty of this and it made the situation an emergency when the situation wasn’t even that bad. I can definitely say that the tendency that teenagers have these days of being dramatic do not help bad situations.
Chapter 23~Experiment with Your Back Burner Analyze "It puts our quieter, softer, and sometimes most intelligent source of thinking to work for us on issues that we have no immediate answer for."
In some cases, when we try to solve problems that we face everyday, we cannot always use the first emotions that we can get. When trying to figure something out that makes you upset, your first instinct is to react with anger and revenge in a way. It takes the more intelligent side of you to actually think about the situation and how to solve what ever the issue is with more reasoning. When in a situation where there is a lot of loud voices or yelling, it takes the quiet and soft side of you to make the situation better. For example, when in a yelling argument, most of the time not yelling back and taking deep breaths is the best solution. This requires the quiet side of someone.
Chapter 24~Spend a Moment Every Day Thinking of Someone to Thank Who is one person you would like to thank in this moment and why?
When I think of someone I would like to thank in this moment, I think of my mom. I think of my mom because she has done so much for me in the little time that I have been alive. My mom has always supported me in whatever I want to do and she always believes in me. My mom makes sure I’m okay mentally, physically, and emotionally. I am thankful that she takes the time to ask me how I’m doing. My mom always listens to my rants and listens to me talk on and on about whatever happened at school or anything that I want to talk about. My mom does so much more for me and I am really thankful for her and she is the person I think of when I am asked who I want to thank in this moment.
Chapter 25~Smile at Strangers, Look into Their Eyes, and Say Hello When you read this chapter, regarding eye contact and connect, what are your initial thoughts?
When I read this chapter, my initial thoughts were opposites. Awkward and Inviting. Those are the two words I thought of. Walking down a hall and making eye contact with someone you don’t know, can create a moment of awkwardness. On the other hand, when I’m walking down the hall, having a tough day, and someone makes eye contact with me, I kind of get an inviting feeling. Especially when someone makes eye contact with kind eyes, it makes me feel better. Sometimes, eye contact can be inviting. There are many different thoughts that came when I read this chapter.
Chapter 26~Set Aside Quiet Time, Everyday When do you find a quiet moment in your day, everyday, just to be present and quiet? Do you? Or perhaps you don't... explain.
Finding a quiet moment in my day, everyday, can sometimes be challenging. I try to find quiet moments as much as possible. Even if it is just laying in my bed at one in the morning before I fall asleep and just thinking and asking myself how I’m doing, or sometimes even letting my emotions out by laying there and crying. I sort things in my mind and let my mind figure out how to manage my stress and calm me down. Another quiet moment in my day could be when I shower. It is just me and I allow myself to listen to my body and how I need to help myself. Whether that means drinking more water, sleeping more, or even eating more. I find that whenever I don’t have a quiet moment in my day when it is just myself, I find myself more stressed and anxious than usual, my mind is crowded with thoughts, and I become overwhelmed.
Chapter 27~Imagine The People in Your Life as Tiny Infants and as One Hundred Year Old Adults Describe a time when you have been frustrated with someone, but you "let-go" of the situation and moved forward with your life. How did that make you feel? There have honestly been a lot of times when I have been frustrated with someone, but “let-go” of the situation. One situation in particular was when I trusted someone with a piece of information that really affected me and that one person went ahead and told people, and as most times happen, the word spread and as time went on, a lot more people knew. I let go of the situation because I dismissed it because it was my friend and I didn’t really want to cause an argument that would cause me to lose a friend. This honestly made me feel betrayed and I was hurt because I thought this friend had my best interest.
Chapter 28~ Seek First To Understand Describe a situation where you didn't seek to understand first. Was there resolution with this conflict? There have been a lot of times in my life where I stuck to my opinion and thoughts and didn’t want to understand the other person. A time where I often find myself not seeking to understand first is when I have a disagreement or argument with my mom. A lot of the times when my mom and I disagree on something, it is because one of us isn’t paying attention to the other or we don’t understand what the other person is thinking or feeling. These types of conflicts often do have a resolution. We take the time to understand what the other person is thinking and feeling and then thinking about how this affects them and our opinions. The resolution is often taking the time to listen and understand one another.
Chapter 29~Become a Better Listener Who is someone you can genuinely talk to, that will listen to you. Describe this relationship. Someone I can genuinely talk to, that I know will listen to me is someone who I've gotten really close with over the past few months. I didn’t know Nathan Curless before high school, but once I met him, we got really close over the last few months. No matter what I’m talking to him about, he is always there to listen and sometimes put his input in. He is a person that I can trust and he is always there if I need a hug. I consider Nate to be one of my best friends and I know I will always be able to count on him.
Chapter 30~Choose Your Battles Wisely Describe a time where you 'lost your Shhhhhh' and in reality it wasn't worth the energy. How do you feel about the confrontation? Could it have gone differently if you didn't sweat the small stuff? A time when I lost my patience when in reality it wasn’t worth my patience or energy was when my sister wouldn’t clean her mess. I am generally a very clean person so messes bother me. I was arguing with my sister to clean her mess but she insisted that she wasn’t going to. I was arguing with her that she needs to be responsible and clean. I lost so much time and energy arguing when I knew in the back of my mind that there was no point as she wouldn’t clean. At the end of the day, the best thing to do was to just clean the mess for her and avoid the arguing.
Chapter 31~Become Aware of Your Moods and Don't Allow Yourself to be Fooled by the Low Ones Explain a time when you were in a bad mood and how it shaped your day. Vice Versa, explain a time when you were in a great mood and discuss the day you had. A time when I was in a bad mood and it shaped my day was when I slept in the wrong way and my neck hurt all day long. Though it might seem like such a little thing, it really affected my attitude the whole day as I was in some type of pain or discomfort the whole day. Everything irritated me and I was overall annoyed. A time when I was in a great mood was when I found out that I had passed a test that I had studied so much for. This test was in English, which is my first period of the day. Passing the test I was so worried about automatically made me happy and I wasn’t about to let anything get in the way of my accomplishment and happiness.
Chapter 32~Life Is a Test. It Is Only a Test As an experiment, see if you can apply this idea to something you are forced to deal with right now. Explain your emotions and logic behind this situation. Can you rise above it? There have been many times in my life when my limits and my emotions have been challenged. Whether it is something testing my patience or a friend or family member making me upset, I could either see it as a problem and a hassle to deal with or as a test to see how strong I truly am and how much I could handle at once. I feel like this idea is a good idea. Life is full of trials and you have to prove yourself. Sometimes you will be expected to fail. Sometimes you will be expected to succeed. It is a test. To see how strong you are and how much you can handle as a person. Sometimes you will have a challenge that you come across and you may find the problem pointless. You will have to be the bigger person and maybe rise above. Not let it affect your life. Continue living your life. Rising above.
Chapter 33~Practice and Blame Are All the Same You will not please everyone... how does this statement with you and why do we tend to focus on the negative rather than the positive? I personally am a people pleaser. I go out of my way to make people happy. I put others’ needs before my own and at the end of the day, I get affected. If I do not focus on myself and put myself before others sometimes, my mental health will suffer and I will fall behind. When reading ‘you will not please everyone,’ it does not sit right in my head. I do know that I am not always going to be able to please everyone around me and make them happy and I have to learn how to accept it. Sometimes, the best thing is to let others do things for themselves instead of becoming a person someone else depends on to do things. It is okay to know that it is unrealistic to please everyone at once and make sure you yourself are also doing alright. It is okay to sometimes put yourself and your own needs before others.
Chapter 34~Practice Random Acts of Kindness Describe a time when you complete RAK and how did it make you feel? A time when I completed RAK was when I held the door open for my class. It helped some of my class in such a little, random way, but in a way that maybe could have made someones’ day better. Personally, even just a smile from someone as I’m walking down the hall can make a bad day a bit better. It made me feel happy on the inside. I felt like I helped someone in a small way that could be seen as something bigger and maybe make someone’s day better.
Chapter 35- Looking Beyond Behavior In your own words, describe the meaning of Loving-Kindness.
Everyone’s definition of loving-kindness will be different. To me, loving-kindness is loving and treating others the same way you would like to be treated. Yes, this phrase gets used a lot, but because it is true. If you treat others with the same love and kindness you want, most of the time it will come back to you in a good way. There might be some times when it doesn’t, but even then, you’ve got to be a bigger person and always treat people with loving-kindness.
Chapter 36- See the Innocence What occurs when we practice compassion towards others and let go of ‘their’ story, rather than being caught up in the drama of the situation?
When we practice compassion towards others and let go of ‘their’ story, rather than being caught up in the drama of the situation, one of two things can happen. One thing that can happen is that the person is actually being sincere and means what they say. Another thing that can happen is that people start to realize that you are going to ‘let things slide’ and then start to take advantage of your compassion. It is often hard to tell which of the two is going on, yet there is a fine line. It can be hard to decide where particularly that line is, but once you do, you will find out who in your life is being sincere and who is just taking advantage of your compassion.
Chapter 37- Chose Being Kind Over Being Right Define equanimity. Do you practice this in your life? Look at your ego first before you answer this.
Equanimity: mental calmness, composure, and evenness of temper, even in a difficult situation. I try to practice this as much as I can. It’s easier some days more than others if I’m being completely honest. Personally, in a difficult situation, I find it easy to sometimes lose my patience, but this doesn’t mean that I react physically. Now that i think about it, I’ve never really been the person that reacts whether it’s verbally or physically. I usually react in my head and try to control myself in a collected manner.
Chapter 38- Tell Three People (Today) How Much You Love Them In picking 3 people, who would you choose and why them?
When picking three people, I would chose my mom, dad, and sister. I would chose my mom because she has always been there for me, through thick and thin and she is my best friend. I would also chose my dad because my dad has done so much for me and my family. I would chose my sister because I can literally go to her for anything. Even though she is younger than me, she always has the best advice and it feels like we’re the same age.
Chapter 39- Practice Humility Describe a time when you saw an individual or group lack humility. How did that make you feel about said individual group? No need to share names in this example.
Being proud of your achievements and accomplishments is a good thing. Everyone should be proud of themselves. Oftentimes, you also want others to be proud of you, a type of validation per se. There is a fine line between wanting others to be proud of you and bragging. It is considered crossing the line when said achievement becomes a topic in every conversation. This type of bragging can make you feel down and sometimes even negative. I see this a lot, especially in sports, something that is highly competitive in high school, and academics. I experience feeling negative about myself when someone else achieves something and manages to make it a part of every conversation.
Chapter 40- When in Doubt about Whose Turn It Is to Take out the Trash, Go Ahead and Take it Out What is your perspective/opinion of this article? Valid, or a waste of time?
I think the main topic of the article depends a lot on who you are dealing with. The main message I got was to do things for others no matter what because you never know what is going on in someone’s life. Yes, doing things for others is a good thing and a practice people should do. But there is a limit. Personally, once you pick up the slack many times, people start to think you will always pick up the slack and never do anything. Therefore taking advantage of your kindness. Other times, you can pick up the slack for someone when they really need it and it only becomes a one-time thing. It truly depends on the person you’re dealing with and the situation.
Chapter 41- Avoid Weatherproofing Do you weatherproof? Explain.
I think that I do weatherproof sometimes, weatherproofing isn’t necessarily a bad thing though. I try to not point out flaws in other people especially because I am a person that has flaws. As amazing as it would be, no one is perfect and everyone is going to have some type of flaw that you might not like. You have to figure out how to adapt as everyone will not be ‘perfect.’
Chapter 42- Spend a Moment, Every Day, Thinking of Someone to Love Who do you chose to send love to in this moment?
Someone I chose to send love to in thismoment is my mom. My mom does so much for me and my family and it always goes unotoiced and she never receives the thanks that she deserves. I would alsop chose to sent love to those who are struggling. You may never know what is going on in someone’s life, yet you should never assume something isn’t wrong. So I’m sending love to those around me that might be internally struggling with something that is not out in the open.
Chapter 43- Become an Anthropologist Reflect on the following: “judging others takes a great deal of energy and, without exception, pulls you away from where you want to be.
I am a person that believes in the saying “if you have nothing nice to say, don’t say anything at all.” It is very easy to judge someone, something, or the actions that are happening in front of you. If you spend your time judging something that is happening, you will forget about what is going on in your life and the things that truly matter. When you judge someone or something, you will only think about it for a few minutes. Saying something can bring someone down, affect them in ways you don’t know about, or anything else as everyone reacts to things differently. It is better to spend your time doing something that matters rather than judging.
Chapter 44- Understand Separate Realities Why is it important to see the differences amongst one another in our small intimate circles to cultures around the world?
It is important to see the differences amongst one another in our small intimate circles to cultures around the world for many reasons. One reason is that if everyone were to be the same version of one person, things would not work. For example, a machine has many different parts that make it work together. One thing does one thing and another thing does something different. This is just like people, especially in a team. Everyone will bring different things to the table that allow things to be successful and work in the way they are supposed to happen.
Chapter 45- Develop Your Own Helping Rituals What are some ways that you can help the spread of kindness towards others?
Some ways that I can help the spread of kindness towards others is just doing the simplest of things. Simple things often go a long way. The first think I can do is just smile at people. Smile at those I pass by in the hallways at school, at the store, anywhere. We can all agree that a smile goes a long way. A smile is a simple thing. A thing that does not cost anything out of anyone. It is one of the first steps to spreading kindness.
Chapter 46- Every Day, Tell at Least One Person Something You Like, Admire, or Appreciate about Them Give someone a compliment via text message or DM. Who did choose and how did it make you feel to support someone?
I chose my sister. It made me feel like it is something I need to do much more often. As bad as this sounds, my sister and I don’t often compliment each other, it’s just the relationship that we have. The older we have both gotten, the easier yet harder it has been for us to communicate with one another. Giving her a compliment allowed me to show her that at the end of the day, she is my little sister and I will forever and always love her.
Chapter 47- Argue for Your Limitations, and They’re Yours Discuss a time when you had self doubt and set limitations on yourself. How did you or how can you change this behavior?
Self doubt is something that I struggle with a lot. I often tell myself I can’t do things. This weekend, I figure out if I won ASB Vice President or not. Applying for this job is something I’m ready for, but something also outside of my comfort zone. At first, I had self doubt. I told myself “I cannot do this.” At the end of the day, this is not the mentality I should have and I realized this. Whether I win or not, I learned something. I learned that I cannot doubt myself from the beginning, I need to be confident in myself. I changed this behavior by telling myself I am capable and that I need to do things with a positive mindset. I also realized that even in the negative, I can only grow and learn from my experiences.
Chapter 49 | Resist the Urge to Criticize What is your perspective on one who is critical, talking poorly about another person, lies to feed their ego? Look inward… Are you guilty?
I believe there is a line on criticism. I believe that in order for criticism to be considered a good thing, its purpose must be to help someone out, not to tear someone down. When the goal of criticism is to bring someone down, it has become judgment. The way criticism is delivered is important if you are truly wanting to be helpful; everyone receives criticism differently. Personally, I would much rather receive criticism in a private setting instead of a group of people. I take crtisicim in front of crowds as an insult and I take it personally. At the end of the day, I know people are just trying to be helpful but it isn’t how I work. I can find myself being critical. Whenever I do say something, I say it in hopes of being helpful. Other times when I’m critical, per say one’s choice of clothing, I prefer to keep it to myself. My negative words would do nothing good to the world, they are better in my mind.
Chapter 50 | Write Down Your Five Most Stubborn Positions and See if You Can Soften Them Where do you find stubbornness in yourself? Describe in detail.
I believe I am a stubborn person. Now do I want to admit this? No, but I do. I find myself stubborn to my personal opinions. When I say this I mean that I will hold my opinion and not change it. I believe that everyone can have different opinions and that is totally okay. Stubbornness can be good to a limit. It is good to be stubborn when you are being peer pressured and decide to stay true to who you are and say no. It is bad to be stubborn when your opinions can be hurtful to those around you.
Chapter 51 | Just for Fun, Agree with Criticism Directed Toward You (Then Watch It Go Away) Describe a time when someone criticized you and discuss the emotions felt behind these comments. What do you think about the author’s idea to accept the criticism?
I have been criticized multiple times in my life. One moment in particular that sticks out to me is when I got told that I am too dramatic. When I first heard this, I was stunned. My reaction just proved the point of the person critiquing me. After some reflection, I was able to recognize that I give some situations too much emotion and let things affect me in a way I shouldn’t. When the author presented his idea to accept the criticism, my thoughts were in between. Some criticism is necessary. It could lead to change for the better in someone. On the other hand, criticizing someone might affect someone more than you think and cause them to change things for others, not themselves.
Chapter 52 | Search for the Grain of Truth in Other Opinions Describe a moment when someone shared their opinion that you didn’t agree with, but was willing to listen and hear a different perspective. How did the overall conversations go?
I think that individuals must have different opinions, it allows for balance and conversation especially when discussing important matters. I also believe that one should respect another person’s opinion, no matter if you agree or disagree. Everyone has the right to their own opinion and for it to be respected. A recent occasion when someone shared their opinion that I didn’t completely agree on was Homecoming 2023. Homecoming brings a lot to the table and not everyone is always going to agree. This year in particular, half the class was divided on one theme, and the other was stuck on another. We were able to create conversation by asking the “how” of things. “How is the float going to look?” “How is the window going to look?” This prompted everyone to think and realize that there were maybe more opportunities with one theme than another. Having this conversation allowed for different perspectives and concerns to be shared. Towards the end of the conversation, most if not all of the class was in agreement.